Part Two: what I learned from finding mold in our apartment

after finding the mold + days of stress, we decided to rent an airbnb near the beach + try to make lemonade out of the situation.

it ended up revealing SO much ✨

🏠 you see, after my injury we moved to a safer neighborhood. it’s gated + has a feeling of “security” that I needed at the time. it’s safe but also secluded.

⭐️ my therapist always says things are ok as long as my anxiety is NOT preventing me from going places or doing the things that I want to do.

for years I thought I was doing ok with this. sure, I had my fears, but I still went places. I still saw people. I still did the things I wanted.

or did I? 🤔

after a month at the beach, I realized I hadn’t been.

I had made my home my safe space. anything outside of it was unknown + therefore unpredictable + unsafe. 🙅🏻‍♀️

at least at home I could control most of the variables. it would be better if I just stayed home. my anxiety told me these stories + it did it so subtlety, I barely noticed.

💫 that month at the beach made me feel ALIVE. for the first time in a long time, I felt ready to be in a busier area with more people, cars + noises.

it will take time to feel comfortable in the world again after trauma. it will take time to reopen yourself to the world around you. don’t rush the process. we all heal at our own pace. 🤍🌿